It’s the morning after the Oregon game. And if you’re a Nebraska Cornhusker fan like me, you find yourself lost and confused. You had spent the entire week, hell season, believing in something. You had convinced yourself it was real, only to find nothing could be further from the truth.

My wife looked at me this morning and said, “Wow, that’s quite the frown you have this morning.”

My reply, “I’m not sure what to do with that game I watched last night. I’ve always loved Nebraska football and when Adam Carriker gave me a chance to write about them on his website I jumped at the opportunity. What a great way to be a part of the Cornhusker’s turnaround. But now I’m not sure what to do. I’ve never wanted to quit Nebraska football as badly as I do right now.”

The Feeling

Last night was like walking into the Starlite Lounge and finding the love of your life cuddled up with the latest Nike fashion statement. To make it worse, she showed no emotion. Offering you nothing but the embracement of defeat that was in her eyes.  You stood glaring, unbelieving. But her flirtation continued.

Then the final straw. Sitting at the bar was her daddy, Matt Rhule. Old fashioned in hand watching – almost as if giving his approval. His eyes met yours, and there was no remorse. He simply shrugged as if there was nothing he could do. Turned, and ordered another drink. And why not. It was on your tab.

The feeling at that moment. You were Mel Gibson’s Braveheart character William Wallace, tied to a large oak beam being eviscerated. Yes, disemboweled. And you knew you would feel every ounce of pain right up until the moment your heart was ripped out.

Watching hapless Dana Holgorsen send Anthony Colandrea out on the field to execute a three and out when it mattered most and then seeing Dylan Raiola trot onto the field and slice and dice the Blackshirts was just like that. It was sickening and disgusting.

Personal Trauma

Yes, I know, my reaction is rather dramatic. But man, the feeling was reminiscent of a 2-8 Senior high school season that has ate at me for almost fifty years. There is trauma that can never be healed. It lingers to this day. Yes, it was the same sickening feeling.

We all have it. For my brother it was a loss in the high school state playoffs his senior year. For my sister-in-law losing the state volleyball championship in 1984. For former Nebraska center Dave Remington, it’s the loss to Clemson in 1982. Former Husker QB Turner Gill would probably tell you it’s the two point conversion that night in Miami. And for Damon Benning it could very well be the loss to Florida State in 93. We all have that ghost that still pokes and prods us.

And maybe that’s why we watch, embracing a Cornhuskers team hoping they can wash away whatever personal sports trauma or regrets we all carry. But the problem is you find yourself buying in and caring about their success as if it were your own.

Move On

So, now what? Where do we turn from here. It’s hard to forgive and forget. But other than crawling into a hole, what else can you do. The players can’t and won’t do that. So, I guess I won’t either. But no matter what happens the rest of this season, the trust is gone. And yes, there are growing doubts about Matt Rhule. It’s a critical time for Nebraska football.

GO BIG RED!!

And let’s be a little less SIMPLE, get FAST, and find a whole crap ton of VIOLENT!!

Photos courtesy of the Falls City Journal Home - Falls City Journal - Falls City, NE

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